I (dont) understand
you,
the silhouette of my neighbors
husband, sleeping on hot cement;
the egg that fried, sunny-side-up,
before the pool deck burned my
desert soles
drink,
collecting diamonds dropped
from the back pocket of a setting
sunrise, the moon-drunk Isis shares
your disgraced comet eyes with the
haughty Rhine
drowns,
my salient disappointments
buried in the question of the sea;
I am Dr. Frankenstein and you are
my perfect Galatea, curves becoming
granite walls
crumbling,
under the pressure of a lurking event
horizon; you are doomed to live and cursed
to die, so consumed by your empty
stoichiometry and pursuit of
illiterate nirvana
spawns,
ashen half-truths from volcanic lips,
your words are detritus and
tangerine Jell-o, burying synecdoches
and filling my clay ears until I no
longer remember













Critiques
The first stanza opens with a luscious imagery, simply put yet with deliberate words and carefully chosen metaphor. Representing both the speaker and the subject with ease and swiftness, intriguing the reader straight on with the first couple of lines. A beautiful stanza.
The imagery on the second stanza breaks a bit of the fantastic with some metaphors not necessary familiar to the general reader, at the same time it adds exotic feel and a mix of various worlds into one poem. The third stanza pours in even more worlds, now breaking the borders of "reality" and pushing literature references and even a little "aggressive", or more direct, speech with a straight-forward mention of her features.
The fourth stanza reminds the reader of the subject's place in the grand scheme of things, breaking the enthusiasm built by the previous couple of stanzas and prepares the reader for the ill-natured last stanza, which is the most aggressive and broken in the entire poem. Replacing somewhat delicate words with a more in-your-face approach.
The entire poem is built of stages, taking the reader one step ahead to the original point, portrayed in the first lines, and then further deeper into the personal world of the speaker. There's a strange taste of contradiction left in the mouth of the reader as the poem ends, the feel as if things are raw and unrecognizable. This poem creates a confusion, and does so well, while waking the feelings and the entire world of imagery and general knowledge. Beautifully written, excellent read – this poem is a masterpiece.
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